How To Better Your Self-Confidence

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent...

Or as Cicero states "With confidence, you have won before you have even started".

Self-Confidence. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it's defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement. The Cambridge Dictionary however defines self-confidence as the belief that you can do things well and that other people respect you.

Although confidence in general can be perceived from multiple viewpoints, it's overall definition lies beneath a common denominator, and that's believing in yourself.

To believe in yourself is to know that no matter what you say or do, you know you can achieve what you desire. And from that, stems confidence.

No matter who you are, where you come from, what you do, etc. Whatever the case may be, self-confidence is what grounds you. It solidifies who you are. Allows you to do things you never thought you would be capable of. Without it, you eventually deteriorate.

Imagine taking a risk you never thought you could. Asking your boss for a promotion, making the first move in your relationship, speaking up for yourself, speaking in front of a crowd, taking the lead on an adventure, etc. With confidence, you learn to build the courage to do things you wouldn't normally do.

Here are 7 life-changing strategies to become the best version of yourself while building your confidence.

1. Accept Who You Are

It all starts with accepting who you are as an individual. Appreciating that you are enough. You are complete. By accepting that you’re all you need, will then allow you to open up and acknowledge much more about yourself.

Understand, no one can be a better you, than yourself. You are the only person who can be you to the fullest. Embrace that. No one else has your qualities, your charm, your personality. That all belongs to you. Never change it for anyone. Why should you when there are people out there who most likely look up to you and want to be like you? It could be the closest person to you, or someone you’ve never met. But I guarantee you there’s someone out there who admires you for the true you. There’s no point in trying to be someone else because even they have their own flaws that they’re trying to overcome.

Therefore, once you can accept that you truly are unique and special, you've unlocked the door to becoming confident. Confidence always has a way of lighting up a room. It’s like a frequency that touches every soul. You know that feeling when you’re sitting in a room and that one person walks in, making you feel intimidated almost. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it makes you feel like “I wish I could be like that”. Be that person. Be so confident that others can feel your energy radiating through them.

2. Take Inspiration From Others

Taking inspiration and adopting an attribute from people you look up to and admire is a great way to enhance your existing beautiful qualities. As humans, were always evolving. Physically, mentally and spiritually. During one stage in your life, you’re obsessed with colour, vibrance, energy. Later down the track, you’re as neutral as Kim K’s house. Whatever the scenario, if you look back at who you were and who you’ve become, you’ll notice a difference.

You may admire a quality you see in someone. Whether it was their charisma, elegance, or even accent. You think to yourself, “I wish I was more like that”. But the real question is, why can’t you be more like that? I’m not saying change who you are and be someone else. That is a big NO. I’m saying, you were so drawn to this person because of a simple quality that potentially, you can make your own. And ultimately, that quality would be one you’re already carrying. You just didn’t know it was there.

Ultimately, the idea is to adopt a quality you’re drawn to. Enhance who you are as a person instead of trying to be someone or something you’re not. I can guarantee you it won’t work. It isn’t genuine. Be true to yourself. Love yourself. Who better to be you than you?

By working on yourself to be the best version you can possibly be will in turn have a significant impact on your self-esteem, therefore higher confidence. Work on yourself. Keep working until your heart is content. And even then, work even more. Don’t stop for anyone. You come first. ALWAYS.

3. Don’t Stop Learning

Don’t be afraid to learn new things. With knowledge comes power. Whether it is a new language, understanding art, redefining your style or even something you’re not very good at. Whatever the case may be, don’t hold yourself back from your willingness to learn. A compelling quality that conveys a confident person stems from their knowledge. Talking to them is like listening to your favourite song. You just don’t want it to end.

The most obvious reason of containing information others may not. It builds your confidence. When you are able to openly have a discussion with someone based purely on information you know, portrays a more confident person. You feel more confident because you have the capability to share your opinion. You’re not sitting there like “what the hell are they talking about”. You create a representation of yourself. An aura. People don’t forget that.

Thus, learning leads to doing. You could learn a new skill that potentially gets you a job you never dreamt of having. You become your own boss because of the information you’ve acquired and thus have the ability to share that information with many more. It becomes your full-time job, getting paid while sitting at home earning bank. To have the ability to do that, requires the confidence that opened the doors for you in the first place.

4. Glam Yourself

You knew I was throwing that in there. This blog is essentially about all things glamorous. We’ve discussed how to be confident on the inside, but if you don’t look the part, you won’t feel the part. This is my favourite section. The scene in movies when the makeover happens. The time in your life when you shock everyone around you, including yourself.

Meaning glam yourself up a little. Take pride in your appearance. They say “when you look good, you feel good”. You’ll be surprised at how effective this approach is.

Take some time during the week to exercise. Invest more energy in your skincare routine. Put some makeup on. Buy a new outfit that you know will make you look and feel fabulous. Whatever it is you need to do. Do it for yourself. It’s about making you happy before making anyone else happy. And once you start to feel happy, your confidence starts to shine.

5. Set Realistic Goals

Setting goals provides a sense of accomplishment which in turn releases a chemical in the brain called dopamine. Dopamine is what triggers a feeling of satisfaction and motivation when you achieve a goal. And when you feel good, your confidence is boosted.

By setting goals, you can work on achieving things you never thought possible. For instance, you want to work out regularly every week however time seems to consume you. Therefore, by breaking down your day and making some time for yourself by working out, you feel a sense of accomplishment.

Hence, the notion of setting goals throughout your day is essential in boosting confidence as it allows you to feel a sense of pleasure. Whenever I write my list of goals to achieve the night before for the following day, that day I tick off all the tasks I need to get done. By achieving everything on that list allows me to feel a sense of satisfaction and motivation to do better the next day. Not only does it help with my confidence, but I actually get things done I never thought I could.

So not only are you getting yourself in line, but your life in check.

6. Into The Unknown...

I may or may not have stolen that title from the Frozen song... but my point is valid.

Let me explain.

By allowing yourself to step into the unknown allows you to take control of your own emotions. Meaning you aren't allowing fear, anxiety, stress, worry etc, take over. Which by the way, are characteristics that diminish self-confidence.

Now what do I mean by stepping into the unknown. Well to clarify, it's not that deep. But simply by doing something that usually, you would stress or overthink about and then back out. You don't end up doing it, but subconsciously you wish you did. You tell yourself "next time..." but we all know that next time isn't coming anytime soon.

Let me dive deeper. You've always wanted to go skydiving. A feeling gets the best of you and you don't do it. You're there, you've paid your ticket, you just won't go. Something holds you back. Is it fear? Anxiety? Maybe you're just too scared. But by putting all those feelings aside and literally stepping into the unknown, you unlock a new feeling you may have never felt before. It's confidence. Confidence in yourself. Finally understanding that you can literally do whatever you set your mind to. But only if you want to.

Now, this may be easier said than done. But if you intentionally want to make a change. Believe me, you will. I tried it myself and can say this may be one of the best methods to just do what you say you want without all the extra baggage.

So, step into the unknown. Do what you want, regardless of what you THINK may happen. Try. You never know until you do.

7. Apply What You Just Read

Application. Applying everything you just read into a form of action. You have the theory. Now complete the practical. It’s never enough to just ‘know’ about something if you can’t put it to good use. Use the information given to you to better yourself. To better who you are. To feel your absolute best.

You’ve now understood that accepting yourself as a person tops the list. After the stage of acceptance, you start working on your character. One place to start is inspiration. You can be inspired from anything or anyone around you. Once you have an idea of who you want to be, gain the material. Learn new things. Learn about yourself, emotions, strengths and your weaknesses. Embrace them, perfect them and build on them. You’ve now started to transform your confidence on the inside. You’re radiating. Not only have you become confident, you dress the part too. From there, you have enough motivation to start setting goals and eventually doing things you never thought you could.

Overall, having self-confidence benefits you and only you. Without it, you're restricting yourself from opportunities that may never come around again. Don't just apply these steps once and move on with your life. Write them down. Remember them. Apply them everywhere and anywhere. It takes time, but eventually you won't need to remember. It'll become who you are. You reading this is taking the first step. Don't stop when you've already started. You got this.